As a paramedic, I have encountered more adipose than I ever imagined possible. I suppose prior to joining EMS, I was always aware of obesity as an epidemic, but I had no reason to encounter many downright spherically shaped people. I never expected to voluntarily hold employment at which I not only get to see the morbidly obese regularly, but I also encounter some of the unexpected byproducts of vast girth.
Today, I treated a woman of advanced mass with a myriad of health problems. In the process of rearranging some of her bountiful tissue to place leads for an accurate ECG reading, and I found under her left breast…a key. A single, isolated key.
I said, “Ma’am, this looks like the kind of thing you’re going to want to hold onto,” while handing it to her. Her face lit up. “This is my house key! I’ve been looking for this! Thank you!” I’m certainly glad I was able to help my patient with a problem, but entrapped key extraction was not a service I had anticipated providing.
I understand the concept of using one’s breasts as an excellent place for storage. I tuck my pepper spray in my cleavage when I go for long jogs, and I’m not above sticking some cash in there when I don’t want to carry my wallet. Typically, one also needs a bra to assist with this kind of storage.My patient needed not be limited by such troublesome clothing. She could store, and subsequently lose her house key in her bosom without trouble.
I’ve given it a fair amount of thought, and I still can’t decide if this is a pro or a con to morbid obesity. On one hand, you can store things without even using the elasticity of a bra, but you also run the risk of losing necessary objects. I’m completely ambivalent.
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